St. Paddy's Day Surprise

A funny thing happened the other day: Long Island Press stoked a mini-controversy among the Irish. But along the way, a few important points were lost. So here are a few clarifications for those who refused to listen to our side of the story, and the story itself for those who missed it.

On March 5 the cover story, “Drinking Problem,” which was the latest in our monthly Our Children’s Health series—this one about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome—featured a picture of a baby being fed a bottle of whiskey. But not just any whiskey, we went with a bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey because, well, that is the whiskey of choice among our graphic artists.

Basically the thought process went like this. Graphic artist A: “Hey, we need a picture of a bottle of liquor for this cover image I’m creating.” Graphic artist B: “OK, let’s take a picture of this empty bottle on my desk and we’ll use that.” And through the magic of graphic design, the rest is history.

Then, once the paper hit stands, the calls came. There was the guy who yelled at our receptionist before he angrily hung up: “Why didn’t we use a bottle of tequila or vodka!?” There was the woman who said “how dare we,” especially when this is “so close to my holiday,” with a brogue. But when my editor took the call, he thought he was just going to have to explain that this was a story about FAS and we were not encouraging babies to drink liquor. He didn’t realize the woman was inconsolable because she felt her heritage was disparaged.

Then there was the bar owner who canceled delivery of the paper. Same problem: We offended some Irish folks with within weeks of St. Patrick’s Day. Eventually, a representative from Jameson’s parent company wrote a letter, which we ran with a response from our editor.

Certainly, from a public relations standpoint, it is not hard to see why Jameson’s would be upset—especially when they donate to a FAS research fund. And the legality of our creating the image has already been addressed by my boss. All I want to clarify is just where we are coming from, since everyone kept hanging up when we attempted to explain.

So like I said, the graphic artists here love Jameson. It wasn’t some kind of anti-Irish sentiment that inspired the image. We certainly weren’t intending to perpetuate the stereotype of the Irish as being alcoholics. A few of the designers are Irish themselves. The receptionist who took the call? An Irish lass. This writer and the majority of people I share an office with? You guessed it: Irish.

What we found most odd was how much those who complained seemed to directly associate their heritage with a brand of whiskey. So here’s a short list of a few Irish contributions to society that are a tad more meaningful than the one beverage we’re stereotyped as being addicted to.

Seismology: Those who live in earthquake-prone areas would have even more difficult lives without this Irish invention.

Oscar Wilde: Anyone who has ever read Portrait of Dorian Gray knows this significance. And this is only entry in the volumes of Irish literary contributions that have become classics.

Atom Smashing: The scientist to first accomplish this is still the only Irishman to win the Nobel Prize for science.

Hypodermic Needles: Sure, everyone hates getting shots, but where would modern medicine be without one of its most essential, and Irish-invented, tools?

History: Irish monks who recorded much of Western civilization’s history through the fall of Rome to the Renaissance stored the books in their impenetrable castles through the rampant plundering of the Dark Ages, successfully preserving our culture.